Two Guys, One Topic
We’re back. In the time between, we, The Guys, Tom Dibblee and Peter Nichols, cleaned out the old topic and filled it with the new. The new, upon inspection, showed itself to be “networking,” and it served as worthy fertilizer for a fruitful conversation. Some of the preservatives from that bounty are supplied in textual jars below.
T: We’re officially recording right now. But hold on. Let’s let the intro ride for a second.
Excellent music that happened to be on the radio plays. The Two Guys are sitting in a car. It’s nighttime in a parking lot. The dome light is on.
T: Really good intro music.
P: It’s pretty solid.
T: Should we fade out a little bit?
P: Fading out might be fun.
Peter turns the knob down really slowly. Tom comments on Peter’s control of the knob, and willingness to resist turning it down all the way suddenly, a move that destroys the fade aspect of fading.
Fading, in some contexts, refers to hairstyles. This is not that context. Peter and Tom implied last month, when they discussed vanity, that fading wasn’t for them. Now mind you, this wasn’t explicitly stated, even in the extended audio version of their face-to-face avalanche, but it was implied. That’s what good conversations do – they set precedents, so that, in their wake, listeners might be able to infer: no, neither Peter nor Tom would ever consider asking their barber for a fade.
T: So Peter, did you do any good networking tonight?
P: Yeah, I think so, with [anonymous guy]. He was right to the point. He went kinda hard and fast.
T: So you had a timing issue.
Later in the tape…
P: Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit…
T: I want to know about finance!
P: I. Just. Want. The. Money.
T: You’ve compromised your integrity.
P: Successful networking involves a mutually beneficial relationship.
T: I stood by the former pornographer by the beer thing.
P: There has to be an exchange.
T: Why do you defend your worldview?
P: Boredom and apathy. I’ve got it and I want to share it.
Tom gets overly philosophical and windy. Luckily for him, he was not in a networking situation. Peter could quite easily find another guy to have topical conversations with. But Tom would have to play his cards wrong at least five or six times for that to happen. That’s the difference between partnership and networking. They have totally different thresholds before one man casts another into the proverbial street to reckon with his own wasted days. But then something wonderful happened: an opportunity.
T: … It’s like, who you are, as the embodiment of your worldview, is being asked to take a step up this, like, phantom ladder, you know?
P: Phantom ladder, I like that.
T: I think we’re about to get addressed.
P: Oh really? By a stranger?
T: It’s a networker. We are getting networked with exactly right now.
P: I hope so; that would be so exciting.
T: Hold on. We haven’t described the scene. Ok, so we’re sitting in my car with the light on, just because, well, actually I don’t know how things would have changed had this light been off.
P: Do they want to take our parking spot?
T: There are plenty of parking spots… But… We’re in a parking lot sitting in the car with the dome light on, finishing the last of our beers before we hit the legal limit and prevent ourselves from getting home safely. But now we’ve got a car whose pulled up right behind us, this is automotive networking at its finest…
P: I don’t know what to do about this, other than take the recording device and see what happens.
T: Would you like to be an envoy?
P: Should I go network with them?
T: It’s an Audi. That’s a German car.
P: They are definitely interacting with our existence, for sure. Ok recording device, you’re coming with me…
At that point, Peter fails to open the door and apparently thinks it’s because the portal is locked. Seeing this, Tom expresses his belief that Peter’s first attempt at exit met with failure because the force exerted upon it by the enfeebled grad student was insufficient. Faced with a challenge, an affront to his continence, Peter mustered all his gumption and heaved. Ho, that obstacle obliterated, Peter left the vehicle’s passenger chamber and stated, “I really hope they don’t shoot me. They might.” He then made the acquaintance of Dylan, the mysterious captain of the mysterious auto.
P: I’m recording this conversation. Anyone who’s honest will tell you that.
T: Are you trying to network with us?
P: What led you to pause your driving where you did?
Dylan: That’s my girlfriend’s car right there.
For those pleasure puppies out there left hungry for another helping of wisdom and witticism, prance and preen your cute way to http://soundcloud.com/twoguysonetopic. Lastly if you really, really, really want to be a guy, or if you’ve some matter for our lab to render with its pneumatic reason machine, get in touch at firstname.lastname@example.org.